Melancholy Day
Yesterday was kind of a rough day for all of us. I think we have all kind of hit our wall for travel and emotion. I woke up really missing Amber and Mitchell, and just wishing I could give them both big hugs. The sun was shining, but we were all a little down. My parents are leaving tonight (on the dreaded Soviet train), and it is going to be very hard to not have the extra help with Jacob. They have been such a huge help to us, with everything from all of our "I.T." problems, to extra hands to hold Jacob, and just emotional support. I know that they have mixed feelings about leaving, but it will be good for them to get home and back to normal life there. We did get a chance to get our bearings about us around town, and took a long walk around the university village. We found the amusement park for Jacob, which I think we will be visiting every day from here on out, and we found the way to the big grocery store so we don't have to be so dependent on our coordinators, who have been so sweet.
We were definitely hoping to get a word out of our child, but still no luck. She is just so very scared, and we think that since she was "returned" a month after being adopted by a Kazakh family for not speaking Kazakh, that she is probably afraid of rejection. She still continues to cling to my hand and lead me all around the orphanage compound. We try to find little games to play with her. Jeff showed her how he throws Jacob up in the air to make him laugh. When he did this, she got a huge grin on her face and shook her head "yes" that she wanted "Papa" to do that to her, too. When he did it, she was grinning from ear to ear, but then she got scared again and didn't want anymore. The orphanage director actually came out to the "playground" (I use that term loosely) to check on our child. She asked her in Russian if she was okay - head nod yes. Then she asked her if she wanted to be in our family and come live with us - head nod yes again (phew). I know we are making progress, but in that situation, it is so hard to tell. She will really thrive once she figures out that we are not going to reject her. She loves to watch the video of Amber and Mitchell leading the tour around our house each day. She will have so much fun with them!
Every day, the reality of the orphanage life hits us harder. They do the best that they can with what they have, but really, they have nothing. The "playground" is hard dirt and rocks, and the play equipment is made of broken metal all around. The kids have learned to not sit down on the slide, as they would get cut. They stand up and kind of surf down it. Yesterday the kids were all playing in what looked basically like an actual sess pool filled with rain water from two days ago. It is a wonder they all don't have horrible diseases. The staff is so nice and caring, and they do keep the children and rooms as clean as they can, but there is not much you can do when the children have nothing but old glass vodka bottles to play with. One of the older boys spent a lot of time with us yesterday. It is sweet how the older kids seem to be very nurturing to the younger ones. His name was Sergei, and he looked like he was Mitchell's age and size. We were shocked to find out he is 15. He kept telling our child that she should start talking to us because she is so lucky to be getting adopted. He told us that wished he could be adopted, but he knows that he can't because his father is in prison for murder, and he still has other siblings in the orphanage. You cannot split up siblings, and there is no one to adopt a bunch of teenagers. He said, "Really - what do I need a father like that for?" Very, very heartbreaking.
Last night, our coordinators took us to a great restaurant that is in walking distance, too. It is a Georgian restuarant (as in Soviet Republic of Georgia). This was definitely what we needed after such a melancholy day. The restaurant was fantastic, and we had such a great time. The food came on huge shish kabobs (or swords, as Jacob said). We will definitely have to go back, as Jacob really wants to have "sword food" again!!! It was a nice send-off for my parents' last night here. Please pray for safe travels for my parents, as they have a very long journey to take again. They leave around 10 tonight on the night train, and then they will spend the day in Almaty tomorrow. Their plane leaves Almaty at 3 in the morning the next day, and they will be back in LA on Tue around noon.
Thank you again for all of the comments and e-mails. They have really kept us going!
5 Comments:
Kim and Jeff,
My prayers continue for all of you. Guess what i finished...yep my lessons. Kinda a pain but...very good and thought provoking. Kim i really can not thank you enough. Your words are like comforting. Sergie breaks my heart. I have added him to my perminent prayer list. But what an awesome ministry that little guy has right there. Helping Dasha like that. Awesome. Tell him I will KEEP him on my list. Good thing we have a tiny house or i would have a house full of teenagers. It just occured to me that its about 3 in the afternoon there as i type. You must be with Dasha. I am praying right now i will email more later. Luv ya Nancy
Kim, Jeff, Amber, Mitchell and Jacob- (Thou some of you are here at home - you all are on this Journey together)
The kids and I have had a beautiful morning reading your entire blog together. We are particularly touched and encouraged by your compassionate trusting Hearts. Your relationship with God is an encouragement to all who read of your Journey.
Our prayers are with you. God is doing so very much through you not only to your daughter but all around you from there to here. More then I think you will ever know. I have already seen how God has used your journey to touch lives here at home.
We are looking forward to hearing about your day –
Crystal, Troy, Ashley and Michael -
Hi Jeff, Kim, and Jacob! I'm sorry that you're feeling homesick and emotionally drained! It's only natural at this point in your travels. Especially with Rick and Pam leaving...
Your little angel will talk when she's ready. I know every visit all you crave is to hear her voice and to watch her confidence grow. I think you have "hit the nail on the head" with her reason for not wanting to talk. She will blossom once she is in her new, amazing home with her brats, sestra, and amazing new mom and dad! Have faith that this will all be over soon and in the meantime, enjoy the new and different environment you're living in and treasure the experience you're having.
Seeing daily life in a 3rd world country orphanage can be painful and trying. Take what you can from the experience and bring those stories back for others to hear. Encourage others to volunteer their time one year working in an one of these orphanages to see it firsthand and make a difference. Sounds like a good trip would be for a group of people to head back to Taraz to make the playground a safe environment to play in. It's such a daunting task, but there's something everyone can do.
You guys are so loved and missed by everyone at home. We love reading your blogs and hearing about the daily experiences. You'll be home soon, and when your sweet little one gets to come join you, life will never be the same again! It'll be so much more beautiful and vivid!
Love and big hugs,
Jesi and Joe
Jeff & Kim,
I am just amazed by your experiences everytime I read your blog. I totally cried when you wrote that your daughter was returned by a different family - how absolutly heart wrenching. When I went to the BreakOut orientation meeting last week a twelve year old boy spoke about how he was adopted from an orphanage in Ukraine. He still remembers being hungry and wanting so badly to be adopted. He spoke of his great love of the Lord and his love for his family. I totally thought about you while he was talking and how exciting that another child will be able to leave an orphanage and have a chance at a better life. I know it's hard that you can't save all of them, but you are saving one and that in itself is truly amazing! I was talking to Joshua about you guys adopting a child and he said, "Can we get one! I always wanted a brother!"
We will pray for your continued safe journey and for a safe journey home for your parents.
Love, Jim, Jenafer & Joshua
Jeff, Kim and Jacob,
I'm sorry you are so homesick, I imagine you would be. I know you will miss your folks, but Amber and Mitchell will be so happy to have them home. Just know when Dasha realizes you guys will come back for her and she's been at home with all of you, she will learn to trust you quickly I bet. You guys are living an adventure that so many will never experience, try to enjoy as much as you can :). You have over a week down-yeah! When you talk about Dasha taking your hand and putting it around her, holding your hand etc., it brings me to tears. That is a baby step, it will only get better. Hope you are taking alot of pix of everything so you can share. Well friends, everyone is praying and your always on our minds. One of my favorite verses is - Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. Take care guys,
Cliff, Carolyn, Matthew and Spencer P.
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