Melancholy Day

Yesterday was kind of a rough day for all of us. I think we have all kind of hit our wall for travel and emotion. I woke up really missing Amber and Mitchell, and just wishing I could give them both big hugs. The sun was shining, but we were all a little down. My parents are leaving tonight (on the dreaded Soviet train), and it is going to be very hard to not have the extra help with Jacob. They have been such a huge help to us, with everything from all of our "I.T." problems, to extra hands to hold Jacob, and just emotional support. I know that they have mixed feelings about leaving, but it will be good for them to get home and back to normal life there. We did get a chance to get our bearings about us around town, and took a long walk around the university village. We found the amusement park for Jacob, which I think we will be visiting every day from here on out, and we found the way to the big grocery store so we don't have to be so dependent on our coordinators, who have been so sweet.

We were definitely hoping to get a word out of our child, but still no luck. She is just so very scared, and we think that since she was "returned" a month after being adopted by a Kazakh family for not speaking Kazakh, that she is probably afraid of rejection. She still continues to cling to my hand and lead me all around the orphanage compound. We try to find little games to play with her. Jeff showed her how he throws Jacob up in the air to make him laugh. When he did this, she got a huge grin on her face and shook her head "yes" that she wanted "Papa" to do that to her, too. When he did it, she was grinning from ear to ear, but then she got scared again and didn't want anymore. The orphanage director actually came out to the "playground" (I use that term loosely) to check on our child. She asked her in Russian if she was okay - head nod yes. Then she asked her if she wanted to be in our family and come live with us - head nod yes again (phew). I know we are making progress, but in that situation, it is so hard to tell. She will really thrive once she figures out that we are not going to reject her. She loves to watch the video of Amber and Mitchell leading the tour around our house each day. She will have so much fun with them!

Every day, the reality of the orphanage life hits us harder. They do the best that they can with what they have, but really, they have nothing. The "playground" is hard dirt and rocks, and the play equipment is made of broken metal all around. The kids have learned to not sit down on the slide, as they would get cut. They stand up and kind of surf down it. Yesterday the kids were all playing in what looked basically like an actual sess pool filled with rain water from two days ago. It is a wonder they all don't have horrible diseases. The staff is so nice and caring, and they do keep the children and rooms as clean as they can, but there is not much you can do when the children have nothing but old glass vodka bottles to play with. One of the older boys spent a lot of time with us yesterday. It is sweet how the older kids seem to be very nurturing to the younger ones. His name was Sergei, and he looked like he was Mitchell's age and size. We were shocked to find out he is 15. He kept telling our child that she should start talking to us because she is so lucky to be getting adopted. He told us that wished he could be adopted, but he knows that he can't because his father is in prison for murder, and he still has other siblings in the orphanage. You cannot split up siblings, and there is no one to adopt a bunch of teenagers. He said, "Really - what do I need a father like that for?" Very, very heartbreaking.

Last night, our coordinators took us to a great restaurant that is in walking distance, too. It is a Georgian restuarant (as in Soviet Republic of Georgia). This was definitely what we needed after such a melancholy day. The restaurant was fantastic, and we had such a great time. The food came on huge shish kabobs (or swords, as Jacob said). We will definitely have to go back, as Jacob really wants to have "sword food" again!!! It was a nice send-off for my parents' last night here. Please pray for safe travels for my parents, as they have a very long journey to take again. They leave around 10 tonight on the night train, and then they will spend the day in Almaty tomorrow. Their plane leaves Almaty at 3 in the morning the next day, and they will be back in LA on Tue around noon.

Thank you again for all of the comments and e-mails. They have really kept us going!